No pressure, no diamond.
It's Day 132 since the Lockdown.
And while colossal change took place in my world, a magnificent transmutation has happened within me.
Our Steak and Wine Cavite is finally in business!
My team now looks up to me and feels like I know where we're going — I'm a manager, but I still don't feel the part.
Our SaaS Marketing Agency has won its first client and we keep on getting leads. Personal SaaS clients have been coming back, wanting to work with me.
I am a Team Leader for the Freelance Movement Tribe, something that I really didn't want to do. But something that I felt that I should do to help fellow freelancers. (I refused the first offer, but I said yes when the need arises from my original Tribe).
I now have a newsletter with 500+ subscribers. Subscribe here for practical writing advice.
I founded a Facebook Group, Writing for Non-Writer Freelancers and we're almost 900 strong.
I manifested passive income streams, 2 events this year. Earned my first 5-figure affiliate via EUI. Was Top 7 affiliate in TFMT, got another 5-fig affiliate.
And in a month from now, I'm gonna be a course creator — fixed monthly income will come from it as long as the program is alive. I don't even have to market it or do it by myself. Ultimate dream.
I've been addressed as an "entrepreneur" by people I look up to.
And I didn't realize it that I'm treading the path.
But you know what, the past 3 months have been the most difficult months of my life.
I've cried a lot (because I hated being a manager).
I've cried a lot (because I hated being a manager).
I hate the part where I needed to work all day and be in meetings all day long.
I hate the part that I'm devoting a HUGE part of my day to 1 client when I can serve multiple ones.
I hate the part that I'm devoting a HUGE part of my day to 1 client when I can serve multiple ones.
I'm still struggling with this.
I don't feel like this is something that I should do for the rest of my life, but the strength that has come from all the grinding has been liberating.
I don't feel like this is something that I should do for the rest of my life, but the strength that has come from all the grinding has been liberating.
I felt like this little introvert girl inside of me just died and I'm now this "I can handle anything" woman who's still too peachy.
I'm still lacking that fiery, feisty spirit and saas that managers should have (when needed).
I'm still lacking that fiery, feisty spirit and saas that managers should have (when needed).
But I know that I've become stronger for the last 3 months. And although this position that I'm in is something that I don't want to be in right now.
I want to be here right now because I want to prove something to myself. I have my own selfish reasons. I have not yet accomplished what I was set to accomplish.
Until I do and until I figure out the path to ultimate freedom, shark tank style (yes, I wanna be an angel investor to Filipino entrepreneurs. Haha. New dream.)
Jeerux hasn't been that too supportive. He sleeps at 2 am and I am fvcking struggling on making my day work.
But like me, he has been showing us massive transformation. This guy is smart. Hands down on how he "gets" things. How his imagination goes wild. How he can really talk to us. How we mimics the plants around him with his hands.
The husband--we've been into major fights --lockdown anxiety. And I've been a little too overworked. Maybe a bit ambitious.
But we have settled that.
I love how we're growing as a couple these days.
I've dreamed of doing business with him. And now we're here. We're selling steak together and we do this happy dance whenever someone would order from us. We can sell. Hahaha. Who knew! We sold a couple of orders to our neighbors.
And we're slowly getting traction on Instagram. Facebook buyers are trickling in too.
But you know what?
Here's the surprising thing.
Even with all these, I still don't feel a c c o m p l i s h e d.
J has been telling me how I'm growing. It's funny how my idea of ideal growth is different. I'm thinking of growing on the other garden even though mine is blooming.
Haha. I know. It's wrong.
When I was writing my wins earlier, I felt like a winner.
I just didn't feel it for the past 3 months because of all the anxiety.
I have to download the Calm app. I have to meditate. And I have to do essential oils!
Next up? Crystals. Hahahaha!
♥
I feel sooooooo grateful for my big guy up there who has granted me grace. I really do.
I NEVER thought I can do all these.
Maybe I should blog more often.
And do a weekly reflection.
As I write this, I have 1,273,347 things on my to do list and it's time that I narrow them down to 5.
I am now a manager.
I am now an entrepreneur.
I am now the CEO of my life.
It's time that I should think like one.
P.S. This post is more for me. So it's totally kinda self-absorbed. Hahaha. Toodles!
📸 Dani Costelo on Unsplash
